If you want to find out more, check out my books and zines which cover this topic in more depth. If you like this, please do consider supporting my Patreon. Some people are into all of the things listed under BDSM, and some only some of them. Of course it is pretty common for sex and power to be mixed together in our culture. For example, a lot of romance fiction involves people being rescued from peril or being swept away by somebody more powerful, and a lot of people fantasise about having the power of being utterly desirable to their partner. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive.
It might be that people stick to the same roles each time they play together, or that they take different roles on different occasions. Such scenes could involve any kind of exchange of power. For example, the submissive person might serve the dominant one food, or give them a massage; the dominant person might order the submissive one around or restrain them or punish them in some way; people might act out particular power-based role-plays such as teacher and student, cop and robber, or pirate and captive.
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This depends very much on how important it is in the lives of those involved. However, it should be remembered that most vanilla relationships have specific roles e. So perhaps the main difference is in the amount of communication. Checklists and contracts can be useful ways of clarifying this.
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